Sample resumes Types of resumes There are three different kinds of resumes: Each type serves its own purpose as explained below. Chronological The chronological resume lists past and present experiences in reverse chronological order.
November 10, Hipsters On Food Stamps, Part 1 who wants Haterade In the John Waters-esque sector of northwest Baltimore -- equal parts kitschy, sketchy, artsy and weird -- Gerry Mak logocentric writing a resume Sarah Magida sauntered through a small ethnic market stocked with Japanese eggplant, mint chutney and fresh turmeric.
After gathering ingredients for that evening's dinner, they walked to the cash register and awaited their moments of truth. Those are two "hipsters", and the punchline is that they pay for their foodie porn with foodie stamps, which sounds like it should be a terrible thing, except it's in Salon.
It's very easy and satisfying to hate these two, and nothing would make me happier than to hit them square in the back with a jack-o-lantern. But I also recognize that I am being told to hate them, so I have to take a step back and find out why it is so important that I hate them.
I should have just reached for the pumpkin. No one but the state and psychiatry can profit from another's misery, and they are the same thing, so let's see why Election Day doesn't matter. They're not black, after all. Hell, one of the two in the article is even Asian.
Lesson one at the academia should be the importance of separating vocation from avocation, as character actor Fred Thompson and electrical contractor Benjamin Franklin both understood.
When I was six I wanted to be in Playboy. Just because it's your dream, doesn't mean you should pursue it. So what makes them hatable is the seeming choice they have made: Before we blame them for their choice, we should ask why they felt they could make that choice.
I'm not trying to start trouble, but let's choose something I'm familiar with, i. Why would her parents allow this madness, other than the fact that they were divorcing? What did she think would happen given that she knew in advance there were no jobs for English majors?
Serious answers, please, I'll offer four I had personal experience with: Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady: When you were 17 and you imagined your life at your Dad's age-- not the starving poetess fantasy you wrote about in your spiral notebook, but a glimpse of the bourgeois future you then thought you didn't want-- what kind of a house did you imagine in the "if that happens to me I'll Anne Sexton myself" scenario?
A lawyer's house or an English major's house?
America was the land of the minimum monthly payment. And if this analogy isn't clear enough for you, let me reverse it: That subsidy is now worthless, not because the money doesn't exist but because the bailout at the end, e.
Imagine a large corporate machine mobilized to get you to buy something you don't need at a tremendously inflated cost, complete with advertising, marketing, and branding that says you're not hip if you don't have one, but when you get one you discover it's of poor quality and obsolete in ten months.
When we see a welfare mom we assume she can't find work, but when we see a hipster we become infuriated because we assume he doesn't want to work but could easily do so-- on account of the fact that he can speak well-- that he went to college. But now suddenly we're all shocked: Not irrelevant for now, not irrelevant "until the economy improves"-- irrelevant forever.
The economy doesn't care about intelligence, at all, it doesn't care what you know, merely what you can produce for it. Of course I'm not happy about this, I like smart people, but that's the new reality. There was a time where women went to college to get an MRS degree, and I am telling you that that time is today, there is nothing else of value in there.
Sure, some college women go on to become doctors and CEOs, and some go on to become child pornographers and Salon writers, none of those things have anything to do with what happened in college.
If you are going to college to get an education and not to meet guys, you are insane, literally insane, delusional, in reality one is never going to happen and the other is going to happen anyway, and you could have gotten both for free at a bookstore.
It's hard to accept that the University of Chicago grad described in the article isn't employable, that the economy doesn't need him, but it is absolutely true, but my point here is that not only is he not contributing, the economy doesn't need him to contribute.
Which is good, because there's nothing he can do for it. Anything requiring science is out. The demand for those jobs is very high AND hipsters suck at them.
At any wage, Gerry the hipster will always be outworked by Vinnie the son of a longshoreman, who will always be outworked by a Mexican illegal, i. Hipsters are not good at retail or sales unless detached irony is required, which it is not, which is why they're on food stamps.
Here's a quick test, watch this video: Is Baldwin's character a jerk or a savior? The genius of the story is that half of you will have completely misunderstood it, and you like mint chutney and food stamps.
The secret is at the beginning, at 0: If you were in that room, some of you would understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway, welcome the coach's cursing at you, "this guy is awesome!
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Definition of logocentrism 1: a philosophy holding that all forms of thought are based on an external point of reference which is held to exist and given a certain degree of authority 2: a philosophy that privileges speech over writing as a form of communication because the former is closer to an originating transcendental source.
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